But once inside Medieval Times there are knights, swords that spark when they collide, royalty, talented horses, amazingly good food, and, oh yeah - those plastic hologram cups are filled with beer.
Our friends have been telling us about this place for at least a year. They decided to take a few of us there as their treat...but really, it was our treat to go!
Medieval Times IS what you make of it
With kids we made it a real castle with real knights having real battles...but not really getting hurt. We cheered our knight shouting "Red and yellow, red and yellow" and waving our flags wildly as he rode by. This got easier with each beer refill. I actually started to lose my voice.
There is a story to follow, and the show is performed in a sand pit 'stage' with lighting and sound effects to bring it to life. I noticed the kids didn't catch much of the story, but they did see that someone was captured and thus there were "good and bad guys" - basically that's all they needed to get into it.
Medieval cheers and jeers
Each section is color-coded to a knight and the crowd cheers and boos as needed. There is a break in the middle where the list of birthdays is read...in our case, 4 pages...and if the cheering gets weak the court clerk calls you on it.
Knights provide entertainment in the form of incredible equestrian skills, jousting, and hand-to-hand combat. The swords they use spark as they scrape against one another and the jousting poles splinter before your eyes! Chivalry exists within this castle and t didn't hurt this review one bit that our kinight chose yours truly as a fair maiden and tossed me beautiful red...carnation. (The jury is still out whether he threw it to me or the girls but I'm banking on the fact that he was not trying to woo two 6-year olds.)
Fingers are for Food
Bring your own Wet-Ones because there are no utensils but the food is GOOD. Tomato soup is served in a bowl with a handle and a slice of garlic bread - easy enough. But then a half of a roasted chicken is put down before you and there's no delicate way to dig in.
It all adds to the experience and you can imagine how this would have been a welcome break from the daily grind of just surviving in those dark times. The meal is completed by a mini apple turnover and even the servers admit everyone calls it a McDonald's Apple Pie. This is what makes Medieval Times so much fun - they get that it's campy, a little cheesy, but still lots of fun.
Have you been to Medieval Times? I'd love to know your experience so leave me a comment and tell me what you thought of it!